Telling It The Way I See It












This saying is so true but it also really annoys me.

Now I can hear everyone groan now as I start another rant, but I’m in sooooo much pain!!!! Everyone has told me how brave i’ve been and what a strong person I am, but seriously now! How much can one person take before they crumble???

After my last op in Nov, I was actually feeling quite good, I was managing to eat a bit more, get around better…….and it feels like 1 step forward, 10 steps back. I can’t eat again, can’t move about and spend most of my time in bed again!

I had to go to the emergency dr just before  xmas cause i was getting niggly pains but its full blown now! When i saw them they said it could just be the op didnt work and the adhesions have grown bk, or an abcess or maybe a bowel obstruction. Either way, none of them are good. The only upside is that i’m seeing my consultant 2 weeks today! To be honest though, if its the adhesions then theres not really much they can do for me anymore, yet i dont really fancy the thought of living like this for the rest of my life!!! Even though he doesn’t really say, I no that my fiance gets pissed off with it too. What kkind of life do we have???? I’ll tell you….We don’t have one!!!!

Doctors really need to start more research on this, as it’s a common problem even though they don’t wanna admit it. The fact it’s caused by surgery means it’s caused by them, and they can’t be seen to be making people ill now can they!!

Either way I’m fed up, sad, angry and depressed. Much as I love my bed, I don’t wanna be here forever!!!…

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The New Year is finally here………and who knows what it will have in store for me???? In the few hours so far there has been laughter, arguments, sadness, embarrassment and guilt……not bad for under 4 hours 😉 Is this a sign of what’s to come????? We shall definitely see!!!!!!!!!

To be honest I don’t want much this year. I normally make massive lists of resolutions that I will never keep in a million years, but one that I have never put on the list and is probably the only thing that will be on the list this year, is to be happy!!!! I have never put down as a resolution that I want to be happy. I suppose it goes without saying really, but I have had the worst few years that I have begun to be a very unhappy person. On the inside. So maybe Cher and Dionne in Clueless were right????? 😛 Instead of making over the outside, we should be making over our insides!! Every resolution made is normally quite a superficial one, but this one I am really going to work at!

We all say we wanna be happy, but does anyone really no what would make them truly happy (and I’m not talking about millions of pounds and fast cars), I mean what would REALLY make us happy??????? A lot of thing are easier said than done, that’s a granted, but let’s see how many people can make themselves happy this year. My bet????? There won’t be a lot………..

So Happy New Year to everyone and I hope it holds lots of treasures in store for you all xxx



et cetera