Telling It The Way I See It











{August 18, 2011}   Beauty and the Beast

There are some subjects that people don’t like talking about for one reason or another. The whole point of my blog is what I think and how I see things. If people don’t like it…..i’m not forcing them to read it. Not everyone will agree with me and I never say that what I write is fact. It’s just my opinion. So if anyone does get offended at what I write, I apologise BUT you have been warned.

One subject that can be taboo, is domestic abuse, and maybe if more people were willing to talk about it, then maybe it would work towards combatting it!

I have just come out of a ‘volatile’ relationship. Everything I will say here, I have said to him. He is no way a monster but any means, but towards the end, his behaviour was bordering domestic abuse, if not actual abuse. Now, note i say abuse and not violence! There is a very big difference!! He didn’t hit me or anything like that and I want to make that very very VERY clear!! His behaviour over the last few month did really change though. The way he spoke to me (the few times he did speak to me), the things he said. The fact that he earns the money while i was too ill to work became something to throw in my face and hold over me. I’d get accused of cheating over the smallest thing, I was to blame for everything bad that went on, I was to blame for him being in a bad mood, and Mr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, often made appearances, though I would never know when and what would cause it. It would also be made worse by alcohol.

Now reading this, a lot of people would think, surly this is just an angry guy. I’m just saying these were the warning signs for me. But I also want to state that, this behaviour wasn’t constant. We have had some really good times, some great laughs, and whatever, I will always love him. It’s just not healthy for us to be around each other.

I can also say, that making this choice has been one of the hardest I’ve ever had to make. But when speaking to a friend, it all made me start thinking of previous relationships. One boyfriend did go as far as hitting me and biting me if he was in a bad mood. The other 2 major relationships in my life, they have been controlling about what I’d do, wear, go……to the point it was just easier to stay by their side, instead of getting grief. So there’s the pattern.

So how do you get out of that rut???? The first thing, and it sounds sooooo so clichéd, but you have to know that there’s a problem! unfortunately people like that don’t normally tend to change either, cause they never see a problem with their behaviour, or that it’s not their fault. Either way they are not good people to be around.

I’ll admit, I’m at an all time low right now, but I know, long-term, that it’s for the best! Even though he’s upset and angry at the moment too, I hope one day he understands that it makes sense.

The sad thing is, that I know there are woman out there in far worse conditions, and I just hope and pray that they find the strength inside themselves to free them from the cycle. Everytime you forgive, it’s like giving an ok for the behaviour. So to all those woman, I’ll be praying for you all.

And to all those Beasts out there, treating their Beauties like shit!, Grow up!! Get a pair of balls and act like a real man! Cause no man should ever make a woman fear them!!

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