Telling It The Way I See It











{January 23, 2011}   Baby Face…you got the cutest little baby face

Doesn’t this picture just make your heart melt!!?!!

Every woman proberly takes it for granted that it’s our sex who carries a child for 9 months and then produces such a wonderful thing! So imagine if you can’t do this. I am one of the many woman around the world that is in that position!

I have had one of my fallopian tubes removed plus work done on the remaining tube, which means I have a really really small chance (ie million to one) of conceiving naturally and it breaks my heart. At first it made me feel like a failure, that the one thing women SHOULD be able to do, i can’t (and it dont help an ex even told me that!! 😉 ) but i’m slowly realizing that’s not that case at all.

I see all these women around me having babies, some planned, some not, some truely loved and some seen as an inconveniance, and some seen an an accessory. Either way it makes me angry. I know it’s not the women’s fault and I am really happy…..for those who appreciate their children. But those who don’t want them, have god knows how many one night stands and fall pregnant at the drop of a hate, it’s so unfair!!

A child is such a precious thing and some people just don’t appreciate what they have. That makes me really angry. Plus the fact, that now, if I want children I have to have IVF. This means saving up thousands of pounds which we really don’t have, because the great National Health Service have put so many rules on them paying for it, I wouldn’t qualify until i’m between 30-35! I i will have to be a certain weight, not smoke or drink, have a certain BMI and god knows what else!! Yet as long as i’m paying for it i could be a 50st, 1000 fag smoking, alchoholic and they would still do it. How does that work???? The whole thing winds me up.

I get days, like today, that it really bothers me, but I know if i let it, then i would end up a wreck. Never getting out of bed, dwelling on what I don’t have! So the way i see it, all the time i’m living my life and experiencing things, that will hopefully make me into the great mother I hope to be one day. And I know i’ll be a mother one day, not sure how yet, but I will!!

p.s. any donations greatfully received to my IVF fund……..;)

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