Telling It The Way I See It

{December 9, 2010}   The Art of Sleeping…….By an Insomniac

Insomnia is a gross feeder.  It will nourish itself on any kind of thinking, including thinking about not thinking.  ~Clifton Fadiman

Lights off, bookmark in place, pillows in set shape, duvet up tight, music on…………….and no sleep!!!

How can one minute you be so exhausted, can barely keep your eyes open, and then like that, sleep will not come! Ok, so maybe I’m getting old and was in bed at 9pm but I like routine, what can I say. So I get into bed with a scrummy hot chocolate, and arrange my pillows. My partner must hate me for this, but I arrange them in a nice horseshoe around me. This way, wherever I lie, I’ve always got a pillow there, instead of keep moving them…..see not just a pretty face. Normally I’ll read until my eyes can not possibly stay open any longer, then I put my music on. This, again, is set music. Although it does range from Evanesence to Faith Hill and from Procum Harlem to Avril Lavigne. It is all very relaxing music though, nothing upbeat and hardcore..I’m not that silly. I then say a silent Good Night to my Grandad and my Uncle. To me this sounds like the perfect sleep set up. Now, admittedly, I have THE most uncomfortable mattress in the world but hey, at least I have one i suppose.

So what is it that keeps me awake???? The quote above was perfect for this post, as it is soooo true!!!! Thinking about not thinking, omg, it’s exactly what I do!!! I am also a nightmare when I’m in silence, I think way too much. Whether it be about the day I’ve had, they day I have coming up, blimey I even think about whether I’ll wake up he next morn!!! Ok, so some may say I sound slightly neurotic….and they may be right haha. But how do I think about nothing????? Have you ever tried it???? It’s an endless, extremely vicious circle!!! I’ve even tried the theory of keeping a pen and pad by my bed so if something pops into my head, then I can write it down and get it off my mind…..that didn’t work!!!

I’ve tried pills but to be honest i am on so much other medication, i don’t want another one to add to the list!!!!! So any ideas would be very welcome……I just want a normal, decent nights sleep! Please!!!

Faithless – Insomnia


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